For most of my life I have felt unwell. I remember as young as age 4 having chronic ear infections, intestinal gas, constipation, and muscle tension. By age 12 I was seeing psychiatrists for depression and gastroenterologists for my chronic acid reflux. Nobody ever found anything “wrong” with me. They just shoved anti-depressants, antacids, and prune juice at me and told me I was fine. But even from that early age, I had an inner knowing that something wasn’t right, regardless of what the specialists insisted.

It wasn’t until 4 years ago that I finally got some answers from a doctor who did things a lot differently than I was used to. He was the first person I met who took my WHOLE history into account. He looked at me as an entire being, not just fragmented pieces like conventional doctors had done. For example, when I was a competitive figure skater I had a concussion that caused my neck to be partially out of alignment. Something like that, even though it was years ago, can throw off your entire biochemistry if not properly healed. He assessed my neck and sure enough, that exact spot on my neck and occipital bone that took the brunt of my fall all those years ago was still out of alignment and putting me in sympathetic dominance.

For those who don’t know, sympathetic dominance is when you are chronically in “fight or flight” mode. Your body is meant to be in parasympathetic mode most of the time which is rest, digest, and repair mode. Sympathetic dominance puts an enormous amount of stress on the body and can really put a number on the adrenal glands and endocrine system as a whole.

He also looked at my childhood and emotional health. It was no surprise to him that I had digestive issues growing up, especially because I had a tough childhood that had been a major stressor for my system. Again, chronic stress as a kid put me in sympathetic dominance which weakened my digestion. Chronic stress also forces the body to use a lot more minerals which I definitely wasn’t getting from my standard American diet of breakfast cereal, cookies, and fruit roll-ups as a kid.

I give you so much backstory in this post to set the stage for the point of this post which is that healing is NOT a linear process. I know I personally grew up believing that if I go to the doctor for an ailment it should be gone within a few days. All I have to do is take a pill and I’ll be fine. For those of you healing from chronic illness, especially using a holistic healing protocol, there will be ups and downs and healing won’t be overnight. It took years of stress, demineralization, toxic build-up, and degeneration to get to a point where your body is chronically ill. I have learned to see healing as a journey, not a race to get better or back to “normal.” The truth is, I was never “normal.” My body had been speaking to me for years, telling me something was wrong, but because I was young and didn’t know any better I covered it up with medication and sometimes even alcohol or partying to get my mind off it.

Even though I am years into my healing journey, I still have so much learning, growing, and healing to do. It took me time to find the diet that worked for me after years of being vegetarian. It took me years to release and heal old emotional trauma that would show up as nightmares and chronic tension in my body (this is definitely an ongoing process, it all is). But I wouldn’t trade this journey for ANYTHING. Before I began this journey I had no idea who I was. Through this process I found my passion for teaching people about natural health and what it really means to heal on a physical and emotional level. I have learned what it means to take care of myself, what it means to love myself therefore allowing me to fully love others. I have learned how to say “no” to things that don’t feel good and to stand up for myself. Healing my body has meant meeting myself. It has truly been the most transformative journey that I never even knew was possible.

So if you’re in the process of healing and are frustrated with your progress, give yourself permission to relax into this moment. Right here, right now. And thank your body for all that it does for you everyday. Honor yourself for even being on this journey in the first place as it is something that not many people are willing to do. Healing takes time, love, patience, and support. It takes a skilled practitioner to guide you on your journey. You’re not alone, and you will heal. Trust the process!